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December 14, 2006: The Golden Globes as comic relief

There is no greater display of Hollywood's pathetic need for approval than the Golden Globes (nominations announced today).

READER ALERT: If you have anything at all useful to do with your time, like making up shopping lists for Christmas 2014, don't go any further. This is a truly trivial subject.

For those of you who don't know - and don't feel bad if you don't, because not knowing in this case is probably superior to knowing - the Golden Globes are awarded by an outfit called the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Who are these folks? Well, there are plenty of jokes, but it's only a slight exaggeration to say the typical HFPA member is an aging waiter at a Romanian restaurant in Santa Monica who once wrote a movie review for the Bucharest Tribune under Ceausescu. Now I have nothing necessarily against Romanian waiters, aging or otherwise. They may have better taste in movies than I do. But the idea that this conglomeration of part-time gossip columnists could be taken seriously as award givers is beyond ludicrous.

But seriously they are taken, especially by the likes of Sean Penn and assorted other Great Political Thinkers of the Thespian persuasion, who dust off their tuxes and trundle down to the Bev Hilton for the great occasion to profusely thank the Foreign Press for their prizes. It's reminiscent of that old Jules Feiffer cartoon of the desperate actor: "Did you see me? How was I?" But happily, there is an upside to this narcissistic display. It is an opera bouffe parody of award ceremonies in general, even those of supposedly greater respect like the Nobel (Arafat for Peace?) or the Pulitzer (the AP for photography in Iraq?). Awards? Phooey! [Except for those you may win.-ed. Of course.]

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Not one nomination for United 93. Interesting. But not surprising.


I finally saw last year's Academy Award winner for best picture, “Crash.” Oh my God, this politically correct piece of garbage is no more than a second rate film usually viewed at cappuccino theaters. It was so unbelievably awful. The screen writing seem liked something created by a leftist kid who hadn’t yet turned 21. Al Sharpton must have assisted in the project. I do not even slightly exaggerate in saying that “Crash” normally would have been shown for no more than two weeks in Manhattan or Berkeley---and then shoved out to the video stores never to be heard of again.


Very funny post.

Thanks


Roger, in line with your comments, I have a distinct recollection of watching the Golden Globes in NY City on WOR-TV, channel 9, which was not a network station but an independent station owned at the time, I believe, by General Tire. It was not live but on tape and at 11:30 pm on a Saturday nite. At the same time, I heard (or read) that if a nominee was not present at the awards ceremony, he or she could not win. Do you know if this last was true?


Re: TV

Awards shows are cheap to produce and you get entertainers on the screen without having to pay them. Plus the jokewriters can't be costing more than minimum wage.


David, Crash had home field advantage as well as being PC and Academy members simply weren't giving Best Pic nod to a gay Western. It made too many Academy member secretly squeamish.


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